15year old boys depression story (thoughts wanted)?

lets keep this rather short. im now 15, parents split, good relationship with mum, okay with dad touchy at times, had anxiety and possibly other un diagnosed mental illness' for possibly 2years now. was on Citalopram for a bit. had a serotonin reaction and actually worsened my case. one day i was off to school like any morning i was late for the bus walking down the driveway and this massive thing just shot up my body and i burst into tears. i ran back inside and mum asked me whats wrong and i didn't know. i didn't have a clue. so i stayed home the day, next day was fine. weeks went by and it hadn't come again. then the same thing happened about about a month later but this time at the bus stop. mum asked me whats wrong and she got the same reply. we just thought it was hormones in teenager. months passed nothing more. by this time it was october 2010 and i had been depress free for some months then one day at school it hit me like a tonne of bricks and i started shaking and heavy breathing and grinding my teeth and just literally wanted to cause total destruction within the classroom. that was it. i was sent off to the doctors with mother and after describing my events to the gp he surprisingly diagnosed me with Endogenous Depression. a type of depression believed to be genetic (passed down from my father). then the episodes starting getting monthly, then weekly and eventually daily. getting up going to school ready to have my head stuck to the desks all day. crying, feeling hopeless. then my appointment at the Adolescent Mental Health Clinic came around. 4months after being referred. :/ shows how good new zealands health system is. i explained to them and they gave me the 2words i had been dreading. CLINICAL DEPRESSION. i had researched this on google previous to the meeting and it didn't look to promising. another appointment was set and i was put into a distress course to help me out. next meeting flew around. by then i was down and crying 24/7, losing weight rapidly(i was skinny enough as it was), no sleep, no schoolwork, no social life, no understanding from anyone. started turning to drugs and alks for relief and to build my social life back up. then they chucked me on Citalopram (celexia, ciprimil). at 20mg weeks went by no change, then 40mg. turned me into a zombie...literally. sleeping 24/7 mum thought i was stoned all the time. and actually asked me if i was doing drugs. of course i denied it. then lost contact with the Clinic by then it was feb 2011. my depression nd anxiety got so bad that i started having panic attacks and trying to commit suicide and it wasn't until a deliberate overdose of pain killers that they actually realized how serious my case was and sent n.zs best to work with me. turned out i had a rare serotonin reaction and instead of increasing flow of serotonin to the nerves it deprived it completely and i lost all happiness. now im private and off those death pills. i don't think my ex girlfriend helped me either but just recently i found the cause to my depression. my extremely low self esteem. i have no pride in myself, i hate the way i look. i grew my hair longer so i could cover up most of my face. my girlfriend was finding interest other places and the pile of tests and exams at school had build up and it all got to much but this time i survived. stuck my head down, done my work, found someone that actually likes me, and trying to be a better person. to this day i still get down alot but no where near as often. im on no medication and have fortnightly counseling sessions. i enjoy the little things in life and make the most of what life throws at me. although i had a bad experience and almost died i came out with knowledge that you cant get from a textbook and using this i want to help other people cause through all that sadness and grief there is hope, feel sorry for yourself. cry till there's no more tears. experiences may vary but i had it bad and i pulled through. got my friends back. a decent lady and is on top of his schoolwork. what a comeback story huh:)